Happy First Year, My Precious :)

"First, we had each other, then I have you. Now, I have everything." - Anonymous

It has been a year of smiles and tears. A year of laughter. A year of excitement sa mga kaya mo nang gawin. A year of sleeping beside you, though not every night but every afternoon, watching you breathe, taking care of you. Though everything seems soooo complicated, I know na kering keri ni Mommy 'to para sa'yo.

Being a single mom, I admit, will never be that easy as 123. Nandiyang pupunta ka sa check-up na kayong dalawa, then the nurses would say, "Asan po si Daddy, Mommy?" Then and there, I would like to say, "Just do your fucking job and don't ask about our personal life, bish." But in reality, I always say, "Wala na, eh!" with a smile on my face. Whether they think na patay na or iniwan kami, I let their minds choose which is which.

Nandiyang every payday, you would curse the man who left you dahil di mo alam kung saang kamay mo kukunin yung panggastos nyong dalawa. Only his milk would cost P2,000, which will last for two weeks, sakto para sa next payday. Thanks to God, he provided me with a good job para matustusan ko lahat ng kailangan ng anak ko, and a family na natatakbuhan ko anumang oras.

Nandiyang sa tuwing magkakasakit siya, my mind will always break in thinking saan nanggaling yung sakit nya. Ni hindi ko nga pinapakagat sa kung anong insekto yan. Kapag natutulog siya, at maingay yung mga bata sa kapitbahay, talagang mang-aaway ako para lang mapatahimik sila at baka magising siya. It pains me to see him crying out loud without knowing what's the cause.

"It's difficult growing up without a father, but it's easy when you have 

a fantastic mother who plays both roles." - Anonymous

A family would consist of a mother, father, and either a son or daughter. Anyone who's not present will make it not to be called a family. But for me, a family consists of everyone who loves you, who you love, who takes care of you, and who you cared of. It would not be necessary for a family to have both parents present, as long as one compensates the absence of the other, everything should work as normal as it should be.

I know someday he'll ask, "Mommy, asan si Daddy?" But same as what I have written on all my open letters to my son, I would still say, "Andiyan lang siya, baby. Daddy's not ready yet, and Lola needs him more than we do kaya andun siya. He loves you, pero someone needs him kaya doon muna siya. Andito naman si Mommy, baby, love na love kita at never kitang iiwan." It's easy to say, pero mahirap ipaintindi. No one knows if he would see him on his growing up stage, or kung may communication pa kami by that time. Rest assured, he will not feel that someone's missing in his life.

To my forever treasures son, my life, my breath, my strength, my lifetime boyfriend, savior and companion, HAPPY BIRTHDAY CARLISLE VON PATRICK! We'll be together every single day, and I'll make sure you'll be happier and stronger each day of your life. I love you so much baby! xx

To everyone who came, who extended their greetings, gave help that we were requesting, sobrang maraming maraming salamat. Kahit sabihin ko lahat ng synonyms for the word gratitude, 'di pa rin enough para mapasalamatan ko kayong lahat.

Next posts would be updates about Pogi's health. Ciao!